Horseback Riding

As most of you know, I went horseback riding a few weeks ago. Many of you probably also know that it was organized by a singles group called Meet Market Adventures. And I use the word "organize" very lightly here. These jokers would've had a hard time organizing themselves out of a paper bag so it's a good thing I didn't go in with any expectations.

There were no age restrictions or male/female ratio which didn't bode well. The surprising thing is that except for two older people, everyone was generally the same age. Which is probably the best thing I could say about the crowd that showed up. Yikes. As my mom always says, for every crooked pot, there's a crooked lid. Unfortunately (or fortunately) for me, my dent was far too twisted and deep in that crowd.

After signing all the necessary waivers in blood, we finally got to business with a ridiculous ice-breaker. Imagine if you will, standing at a horse ranch in the middle of nowhere (or in this case, about 10 mins outside of Squamish) in a semblance of a circle with a bunch of - let's call a spade a spade shall we? - losers. Each of us had to pull out a question from an envelope and answer it. I felt like I was in some type of commune for the sad and weary. Or at a nudist retreat gone horribly wrong. Actually, since everyone was clothed, maybe it was right since I can't think of those people naked without gagging. Since we're being totally honest here, I really don't need a damned ice-breaker thanks. I was purposely avoiding talking to anyone who didn't drive up with me.

Forty long minutes after getting there they finally start mounting us, which took another half hour since there were 20 of us. I was one of the first to be mounted and unfortunately I had Mr. Fanny Pack sitting next to me. Sigh. I did my best to ignore him while sending out my strongest bitch vibes. Yes, I recognize that I was not approaching this whole singles thing with the right frame of mind but I tend to make snap judgements and they serve me well. As was the case here. One of the "organizers" was on the other side of me and I was talking to him for a bit. He had just moved here from Montreal and so we started talking about that city and why I went there for work. As soon as the idiot on the other side of me heard "EA" he leans over and screeches "EA SPORTS. IT'S IN THE GAME". Very clever. Like I haven't heard that one before. God. So I smile politely and say "Yeah, I guess it is but I work on some of our non-sports titles". Somehow I get stuck sitting there for 10 minutes while this guy starts by telling me that athletes can make so much money for being on a cover and imagine if we made a game on poker and having a professional poker player on the cover! He completely ignores my comment that we don't make gambling games and rambles on with a litany of names that I can only imagine are professional poker players, also known as his heros. Someone should tell this asshole that referencing a potential gambling problem isn't the way into a woman's heart.

Going back to the organizer I was talking to. Martin was a young, beautiful black man who had just moved here from Montreal. And he made it very clear that he was far too urbane for horseback riding. Being standoffish and snobby is not the best trait in a host for a singles event but the bitching about bugs, smell and lack of alcohol was starting to piss me off because we had all paid money to be there. But I had the pure unadultured pleasure of seeing him trying to mount his horse. He couldn't get on because his jeans were too tight!!! I damn near fell off my horse because I was dying of laughter and after several attempts he was all but dumped unceremoniously on the back of the horse. That alone was worth my $65!

Finally we were off and I made it a point to be between a couple of friends who had come up with me so I wouldn't have to deal with anyone else. The ride itself was fun and I remember why I love horseback riding so much.

The ride was supposed to end with a bonfire. Here's where the lack of planning was most evident. There was a group of 20 and they had a couple of 2 liter bottles of pop, three campfire popcorn packages (two which were destroyed by the manly men who wanted to pop them) and a bag of chips. Not even any marshmellows! Who the hell goes to a campfire without marshmellows!!! Luckily I had the foresight to buy a couple of huge bags before heading out or I would've pitched a fit. As it was, we hung around the fire for about 15 mins and then took off. Yes it was anti-social but you needed to see that crowd before passing judgement.

So ends my most recent foray into the singles scene. The closest I got to any action was the drunk old dude who owned the ranch - he kept wanting to hug me :(

I know that most people who actually bother to read this blog are looking for dating stories but I think I'm going on hiatus. This adventure reminded me why I'm happier on my hammock with a good book.

Private Matters

Recently I read an article on how the Internet is changing the way we view 'privacy'. The writer states that the younger generation have a much more relaxed view of personal privacy. The argument is that the Gen Y have grown up with the Internet and are much more comfortable with offering their private details for shopping, online communities, etc. As a sweeping general statement, I guess I would have to agree. This is especially true as I look at my 'friends' on Facebook.

Most of my friends are around my age, well educated and really comfortable with technology. Almost everyone I know has a Facebook account and those few who don't are usually avoiding it because of crazy ex-girlfriends. Though I have a couple hundred contacts, a few accounts really stick out in my mind. All for different things but it all loops back to privacy or lack thereof.

First is the colleague who logs all his big party nights. Every Monday I look forward to seeing pictures of him half dressed and draped over strange women waving around beer bottles like trophies - as if the chicks weren't reward enough.

Then there's the colleague who recently ran into issues because another female colleague found some of his FB content offensive.  To be clear, his profile was extremely benign and usually limited to pictures of his young son. I'm not entirely sure what the woman found objectionable but I guess there's a reminder there that like privacy, peoples' threshold for 'offensive' material varies greatly.

Finally, I know someone who used to constantly make fun of people who broadcast their lives on Facebook. Basically, people to report their whereabouts and relationship status are exhibitionist and the people who react to it are voyeurs. And he's not necessarily complimentary about this observation. This of course was during his single days when he didn't have a lot to report. Recently he's met a new girl and all of a sudden nothing's too sacred to share with all and sundry. So effectively, this guy's threshold wasn't determined by age but rather how happy he was. All of a sudden he had something worth shouting from the rooftops.

At the end of the day, FB and other social networks are little more than enablers. They allow us to share, show off or communicate as we choose. The personal choices on how much you choose to share works the same in the reverse - there are personal choices to be made on how much you wish to consume of others' news and alerts.

I for one, don't need to know the mating habits of friends and so I choose to stop getting those kinds of updates. The sad thing is that most people have so many 'friends' that no one's noticed when I place them on the lovely 'blocked' list.

George Carlin

I woke up on Monday morning to the news that George Carlin had passed away. Normally, I wouldn't write about this as I've never seen any of Carlin's supposedly hilarious and mouthy, often offensive shows. Instead, the first time I ever heard of Carlin was shortly after 9/11 when the following message was sent to me. I have saved it all these years and reread it often as still inspires me.

The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings but shorter tempers, wider freeways, but narrower viewpoints.
We spend more, but have less, we buy more, but enjoy less.
We have bigger houses and smaller families, more conveniences, but less time.
We have more degrees but less sense, more knowledge, but less judgment, more experts, yet more problems, more medicine, but less wellness.
We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom.
We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values.
We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often.
We've learned how to make a living, but not a life.
We've added years to life not life to years.
We've been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbor.
We conquered outer space but not inner space.
We've done larger things, but not better things.
We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul.
We've conquered the atom, but not our prejudice.
We write more, but learn less.
We plan more, but accomplish less.
We've learned to rush, but not to wait.
We build more computers to hold more information, to produce more copies than ever, but we communicate less and less.
These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion, big men and small character, steep profits and shallow relationships.
These are the days of two incomes but more divorce, fancier houses, but broken homes.
These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throw-away morality, one night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer, to quiet, to kill.
It is a time when there is much in the showroom window and nothing in the stockroom.
A time when technology can bring this letter to you, and a time when you can choose either to share this insight, or to just hit delete.
Remember, spend some time with your loved ones because they are not going to be around forever.
Remember, say a kind word to someone who looks up to you in awe, because that little person soon will grow up and leave your side.
Remember, to give a warm hug to the one next to you because that is the only treasure you can give with your heart which doesn't cost a cent.
Remember, to say, "I love you" to your partner and your loved ones, but most of all to mean it.
A kiss and an embrace will mend hurt when it comes from deep inside of you.
Remember to hold hands and cherish the moment for someday that person will not be there again.
Give time to love, give time to speak, and give time to share the precious thoughts in your mind. Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

HOW TO STAY YOUNG

1. Throw out nonessential numbers. This includes age, weight and height. Let the doctor worry about them. That is why you pay him/her.

2. Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down.

3. Keep learning. Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever. Never let the brain idle.
" An idle mind is the devil's workshop." And the devil's name is Alzheimer's.

4. Enjoy the simple things.

5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.

6. The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person who is with us our entire life, is ourselves. Be ALIVE while you are alive.

7. Surround yourself with what you love, whether it's family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever. Your home is your refuge.

8. Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable, improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.

9. Don't take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, to the next county, to a foreign country, but NOT to where the guilt is.

10. Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.

AND ALWAYS REMEMBER:

Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.