Random thoughts of a restless mind

Dads & Married Men

2009-09-08T00:06:00.000-07:00

The baggage really starts to pile up as you get older. More years to date, get married, have children, etc. Even so, I had not really thought about what it would mean to date someone with children. I guess that's because I feel way too young myself to be a parent. Still, my first experience dating a single dad was a very positive one.

Yes, there were definitely challenges, especially around scheduling and working around dinners, bedtimes, etc. But it was offset with how much this guy clearly loved being a father. It was actually really attractive, even though I am not looking for someone with a paternal streak. I'm not even sure if I want kids, even though my nephews are the favourite things in my life.

Speaking of baggage, a girlfriend recently told me that she's been with a married man for the past 2 years!!! While I'm trying hard not to judge, I can not believe that a smart, cool woman like her would have any part in such a bad situation. I know that we can't always choose who we fall in love with, plus I would like to believe that we do have soul mates (even if you don't always get to be together), however, I also know that we as humans have the capacity to make conscious decisions between right and wrong. And having just walked away from a great guy recently because I knew it wouldn't work, I can not fathom chasing down such a dead end rabbit hole as falling for a married man. I wish her the best of luck because I just can't see how this could possibly turn out okay for anyone.

Beginnings & Endings

2009-09-07T23:26:00.000-07:00

I recently ended (another) short relationship with someone who had a lot of potential but there were some fundamental problems. While I'm a little sad because he was a great guy, I think that I'm more upset with the loss of potential and possibilities than the actual dude.

The beginning of relationships are kind of like Christmas Eve. It's when you're sitting at the cusp of something exciting that's been building for several weeks & months but it's not over yet, you still have something to look forward to. When you first meet someone, there's still so much to discover - who they are, what they like, how they tick. And there's an endless amount of possibilities on where this could go. It's the draw of the unknown that keeps me excited and interested. I'm much better at building than I am at maintaining. Meaning that I don't easily get into a groove of a monogamous relationship. I tend to get bored easily and then usually do something stupid to wreck things so I can move on. But that's another blog for another day :)

The ending of a relationship feels like Christmas night. The presents are opened, the food eaten and carols sung and you know that the holiday of goodwill and cheer is coming to a close. Winter will descend quickly with no long weekends and just endless days of rain or snow to look forward to. Not to mention that the frenetic pace of the holidays has you exhausted and the gift-giving & holiday-making means you're almost broke. Which often leaves me pondering, was it all worth it?

Those who know me, know how much I love Christmas. I'm one of those crazy people who listens to Christmas carols in October and will make an excuse to go shopping on Christmas Eve just to be in the midst of the holiday bustle one last time. That's because Christmas is really a holiday based around families, and my family is important to me. So, yes, I think that all the craziness of Christmas is worth it and I suffer through the post-Christmas blues with one last eggnog latte as I smile and reminisce over how my nephews reacted to their presents.

But back to the relationship front. Is it worth it? I'm not sure. I have made some great friends over the years from failed relationships so I can't complain too loudly. However, I'm still not convinced that all the hassle is worth it. When I mention this to friends, they always tell me that one day I'll meet someone who will knock me on my ass and then I will see what the big deal is about. Until then, I'm happy coasting along...preferably sometime in August when the sun is still shining and Christmas is still either a vague memory or something looming in the very distant horizon.

Modern Day Dating

2009-09-03T09:52:00.001-07:00

I watched 'He's Just Not That Into You' a few months ago and absolutely hated it. It portrayed almost every woman as a pathetic, clingy loser willing to put up with anything if only a man would complete her! And the guys were either two-timing assholes or complete douchebags. However, I digress...I bring up this movie because in it, Drew Barrymore's character has a mini-meltdown about all the ways that one can communicate changing how dating evolves, and then she says 'I'm exhausted'.
Being a 30-something, totally connected, single gal, I can totally relate. Though I don't date nearly as much as I used to, I am finding that technology more often hinders than helps early in a relationship. I'm not a romantic by any warped, stretch of the imagination but seriously, how and when did it become acceptable to use text messaging as a primary (or only) vehicle of communication? Especially early in a relationship when you're trying to get to know each other and determine if there's any chemistry? I firmly believe that chemistry can not be determined via electronic means, which leaves face to face or the occasional phone call. Emails, texts, IM's, FB posts and Twitter messages should wait! Or at the very least supplement the more personal touch points.
I've met three guys over the past few years who insist on having a relationship with my blackberry versus making an effort to meet or even talk on the phone. Needless to say this doesn't last very long. I have neither the time nor patience for that nonsense.
I get the irony of this coming from someone who does what I do for work and is glued to her blackberry. I guess I do have a glimmer of a romantic in me afterall :)

100 Books

2009-04-25T18:07:00.000-07:00

The BBC believes most people will have read only 6 of the 100 books here.
How do your reading habits stack up?

Instructions:
Look at the list, copy and paste in your own note, and put an 'x' after those you have read - even those you've read more than once! Make sure you delete my x'S!

1 Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen x
2 The Lord of the Rings - JRR Tolkien x
3 Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte x
4 Harry Potter series - JK Rowling x
5 To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee x
6 The Bible
7 Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte
8 Nineteen Eighty Four - George Orwell x
9 His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman
10 Great Expectations - Charles Dickens x
11 Little Women - Louisa M Alcott x
12 Tess of the D’Urbervilles - Thomas Hardy x
13 Catch 22 - Joseph Heller
14 Complete Works of Shakespeare
15 Rebecca - Daphne Du Maurier
16 The Hobbit - JRR Tolkien x
17 Birdsong - Sebastian Faulks
18 Catcher in the Rye - JD Salinger x
19 The Time Traveller’s Wife - Audrey Niffenegger
20 Middlemarch - George Eliot x
21 Gone With The Wind - Margaret Mitchell x
22 The Great Gatsby - F Scott Fitzgerald
23 Bleak House - Charles Dickens
24 War and Peace - Leo Tolstoy
25 The Hitch Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams
26 Brideshead Revisited - Evelyn Waugh
27 Crime and Punishment - Fyodor Dostoyevsky
28 Grapes of Wrath - John Steinbeck
29 Alice in Wonderland - Lewis Carroll x
30 The Wind in the Willows - Kenneth Grahame
31 Anna Karenina - Leo Tolstoy x
32 David Copperfield - Charles Dickens
33 Chronicles of Narnia - CS Lewis x
34 Emma - Jane Austen x
35 Persuasion - Jane Austen x
36 The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe - CS Lewis x
37 The Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini x
38 Captain Corelli’s Mandolin - Louis De Bernieres
39 Memoirs of a Geisha - Arthur Golden x
40 Winnie the Pooh - AA Milne x
41 Animal Farm - George Orwell
42 The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown
43 One Hundred Years of Solitude - Gabriel Garcia Marquez x
44 A Prayer for Owen Meany - John Irving
45 The Woman in White - Wilkie Collins
46 Anne of Green Gables - LM Montgomery x
47 Far From The Madding Crowd - Thomas Hardy
48 The Handmaid’s Tale - Margaret Atwood x
49 Lord of the Flies - William Golding x
50 Atonement - Ian McEwan
51 Life of Pi - Yann Martel x
52 Dune - Frank Herbert
53 Cold Comfort Farm - Stella Gibbons
54 Sense and Sensibility - Jane Austen x
55 A Suitable Boy - Vikram Seth x
56 The Shadow of the Wind - Carlos Ruiz Zafon
57 A Tale Of Two Cities - Charles Dickens
58 Brave New World - Aldous Huxley
59 The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time - Mark Haddon
60 Love In The Time Of Cholera - Gabriel Garcia Marquez x
61 Of Mice and Men - John Steinbeck
62 Lolita - Vladimir Nabokov
63 The Secret History - Donna Tartt
64 The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold x
65 Count of Monte Cristo - Alexandre Dumas
66 On The Road - Jack Kerouac
67 Jude the Obscure - Thomas Hardy x
68 Bridget Jones’s Diary - Helen Fielding x
69 Midnight’s Children - Salman Rushdie
70 Moby Dick - Herman Melville
71 Oliver Twist - Charles Dickens
72 Dracula - Bram Stoker
73 The Secret Garden - Frances Hodgson Burnett x
74 Notes From A Small Island - Bill Bryson
75 Ulysses - James Joyce x
76 The Inferno - Dante
77 Swallows and Amazons - Arthur Ransome
78 Germinal - Emile Zola x
79 Vanity Fair - William Makepeace Thackeray
80 Possession - AS Byatt x
81 A Christmas Carol - Charles Dickens x
82 Cloud Atlas - David Mitchell
83 The Color Purple - Alice Walker x
84 The Remains of the Day - Kazuo Ishiguro
85 Madame Bovary - Gustave Flaubert
86 A Fine Balance - Rohinton Mistry x
87 Charlotte’s Web - EB White x
88 The Five People You Meet In Heaven - Mitch Albom
89 Adventures of Sherlock Holmes - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
90 The Faraway Tree Collection - Enid Blyton
91 Heart of Darkness - Joseph Conrad
92 The Little Prince - Antoine De Saint-Exupery
93 The Wasp Factory - Iain Banks
94 Watership Down - Richard Adams x
95 A Confederacy of Dunces - John Kennedy Toole
96 A Town Like Alice - Nevil Shute
97 The Three Musketeers - Alexandre Dumas
98 Hamlet - William Shakespeare x
99 Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Roald Dahl x
100 Les Miserables - Victor Hugo

Total: 44

Dating Etiquette continued

2008-10-14T20:19:00.000-07:00

So, I've been talking about the Dating Etiquette post with some people and apparently, I missed out on two critical points. First, my sister was terrifically amused that this guy actually asked for a doggie bag to take the leftover food - especially after not having paid for it. Her point being, he probably sat there and was like, woohoo, she's just paid for my lunch tomorrow too!

The second is I forgot to mention what this guy does for a living. He's a doctor. No joke.

Dating Etiquette

2008-10-10T22:58:00.000-07:00

I've been out of the dating scene for some time now and not really down with the times I guess. But here's a hypothetical situation - tell me what you think.

So, I have a "friend" who has been on two dates with a certain guy. Date one was to an exhibtion game that she paid for. There was a two week break due to external circumstances and date two is another hockey game. Which she also paid for. They met for dinner prior to the game, which she ALSO paid for. Though to be fair, he offered to pony up half the bill after they had already processed her credit card. Seriously?

He starts asking about a third date and she quite dryly says "We can watch TV at my house" (because he doesn't have one) and he jumps all over that with excitment!

So, am I being a bitch or snob to think that this is so not on? Early dates are just not a time to offer up dutch. Especially in your 30's! Nor should you fail to offer to pay - at least ONCE. And then all but inviting himself over to watch tv. My God.

Yup, sure am glad I'm not really hitting the dating scene. It's a jungle out there. A cheap ass one.

Horseback Riding

2008-06-30T23:14:00.000-07:00

As most of you know, I went horseback riding a few weeks ago. Many of you probably also know that it was organized by a singles group called Meet Market Adventures. And I use the word "organize" very lightly here. These jokers would've had a hard time organizing themselves out of a paper bag so it's a good thing I didn't go in with any expectations.

There were no age restrictions or male/female ratio which didn't bode well. The surprising thing is that except for two older people, everyone was generally the same age. Which is probably the best thing I could say about the crowd that showed up. Yikes. As my mom always says, for every crooked pot, there's a crooked lid. Unfortunately (or fortunately) for me, my dent was far too twisted and deep in that crowd.

After signing all the necessary waivers in blood, we finally got to business with a ridiculous ice-breaker. Imagine if you will, standing at a horse ranch in the middle of nowhere (or in this case, about 10 mins outside of Squamish) in a semblance of a circle with a bunch of - let's call a spade a spade shall we? - losers. Each of us had to pull out a question from an envelope and answer it. I felt like I was in some type of commune for the sad and weary. Or at a nudist retreat gone horribly wrong. Actually, since everyone was clothed, maybe it was right since I can't think of those people naked without gagging. Since we're being totally honest here, I really don't need a damned ice-breaker thanks. I was purposely avoiding talking to anyone who didn't drive up with me.

Forty long minutes after getting there they finally start mounting us, which took another half hour since there were 20 of us. I was one of the first to be mounted and unfortunately I had Mr. Fanny Pack sitting next to me. Sigh. I did my best to ignore him while sending out my strongest bitch vibes. Yes, I recognize that I was not approaching this whole singles thing with the right frame of mind but I tend to make snap judgements and they serve me well. As was the case here. One of the "organizers" was on the other side of me and I was talking to him for a bit. He had just moved here from Montreal and so we started talking about that city and why I went there for work. As soon as the idiot on the other side of me heard "EA" he leans over and screeches "EA SPORTS. IT'S IN THE GAME". Very clever. Like I haven't heard that one before. God. So I smile politely and say "Yeah, I guess it is but I work on some of our non-sports titles". Somehow I get stuck sitting there for 10 minutes while this guy starts by telling me that athletes can make so much money for being on a cover and imagine if we made a game on poker and having a professional poker player on the cover! He completely ignores my comment that we don't make gambling games and rambles on with a litany of names that I can only imagine are professional poker players, also known as his heros. Someone should tell this asshole that referencing a potential gambling problem isn't the way into a woman's heart.

Going back to the organizer I was talking to. Martin was a young, beautiful black man who had just moved here from Montreal. And he made it very clear that he was far too urbane for horseback riding. Being standoffish and snobby is not the best trait in a host for a singles event but the bitching about bugs, smell and lack of alcohol was starting to piss me off because we had all paid money to be there. But I had the pure unadultured pleasure of seeing him trying to mount his horse. He couldn't get on because his jeans were too tight!!! I damn near fell off my horse because I was dying of laughter and after several attempts he was all but dumped unceremoniously on the back of the horse. That alone was worth my $65!

Finally we were off and I made it a point to be between a couple of friends who had come up with me so I wouldn't have to deal with anyone else. The ride itself was fun and I remember why I love horseback riding so much.

The ride was supposed to end with a bonfire. Here's where the lack of planning was most evident. There was a group of 20 and they had a couple of 2 liter bottles of pop, three campfire popcorn packages (two which were destroyed by the manly men who wanted to pop them) and a bag of chips. Not even any marshmellows! Who the hell goes to a campfire without marshmellows!!! Luckily I had the foresight to buy a couple of huge bags before heading out or I would've pitched a fit. As it was, we hung around the fire for about 15 mins and then took off. Yes it was anti-social but you needed to see that crowd before passing judgement.

So ends my most recent foray into the singles scene. The closest I got to any action was the drunk old dude who owned the ranch - he kept wanting to hug me :(

I know that most people who actually bother to read this blog are looking for dating stories but I think I'm going on hiatus. This adventure reminded me why I'm happier on my hammock with a good book.

Private Matters

2008-06-29T15:08:00.001-07:00

Recently I read an article on how the Internet is changing the way we view 'privacy'. The writer states that the younger generation have a much more relaxed view of personal privacy. The argument is that the Gen Y have grown up with the Internet and are much more comfortable with offering their private details for shopping, online communities, etc. As a sweeping general statement, I guess I would have to agree. This is especially true as I look at my 'friends' on Facebook.

Most of my friends are around my age, well educated and really comfortable with technology. Almost everyone I know has a Facebook account and those few who don't are usually avoiding it because of crazy ex-girlfriends. Though I have a couple hundred contacts, a few accounts really stick out in my mind. All for different things but it all loops back to privacy or lack thereof.

First is the colleague who logs all his big party nights. Every Monday I look forward to seeing pictures of him half dressed and draped over strange women waving around beer bottles like trophies - as if the chicks weren't reward enough.

Then there's the colleague who recently ran into issues because another female colleague found some of his FB content offensive. To be clear, his profile was extremely benign and usually limited to pictures of his young son. I'm not entirely sure what the woman found objectionable but I guess there's a reminder there that like privacy, peoples' threshold for 'offensive' material varies greatly.

Finally, I know someone who used to constantly make fun of people who broadcast their lives on Facebook. Basically, people to report their whereabouts and relationship status are exhibitionist and the people who react to it are voyeurs. And he's not necessarily complimentary about this observation. This of course was during his single days when he didn't have a lot to report. Recently he's met a new girl and all of a sudden nothing's too sacred to share with all and sundry. So effectively, this guy's threshold wasn't determined by age but rather how happy he was. All of a sudden he had something worth shouting from the rooftops.

At the end of the day, FB and other social networks are little more than enablers. They allow us to share, show off or communicate as we choose. The personal choices on how much you choose to share works the same in the reverse - there are personal choices to be made on how much you wish to consume of others' news and alerts.

I for one, don't need to know the mating habits of friends and so I choose to stop getting those kinds of updates. The sad thing is that most people have so many 'friends' that no one's noticed when I place them on the lovely 'blocked' list.

George Carlin

2008-06-24T21:47:00.000-07:00

I woke up on Monday morning to the news that George Carlin had passed away. Normally, I wouldn't write about this as I've never seen any of Carlin's supposedly hilarious and mouthy, often offensive shows. Instead, the first time I ever heard of Carlin was shortly after 9/11 when the following message was sent to me. I have saved it all these years and reread it often as still inspires me.

The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings but shorter tempers, wider freeways, but narrower viewpoints.
We spend more, but have less, we buy more, but enjoy less.
We have bigger houses and smaller families, more conveniences, but less time.
We have more degrees but less sense, more knowledge, but less judgment, more experts, yet more problems, more medicine, but less wellness.
We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom.
We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values.
We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often.
We've learned how to make a living, but not a life.
We've added years to life not life to years.
We've been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbor.
We conquered outer space but not inner space.
We've done larger things, but not better things.
We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul.
We've conquered the atom, but not our prejudice.
We write more, but learn less.
We plan more, but accomplish less.
We've learned to rush, but not to wait.
We build more computers to hold more information, to produce more copies than ever, but we communicate less and less.
These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion, big men and small character, steep profits and shallow relationships.
These are the days of two incomes but more divorce, fancier houses, but broken homes.
These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throw-away morality, one night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer, to quiet, to kill.
It is a time when there is much in the showroom window and nothing in the stockroom.
A time when technology can bring this letter to you, and a time when you can choose either to share this insight, or to just hit delete.
Remember, spend some time with your loved ones because they are not going to be around forever.
Remember, say a kind word to someone who looks up to you in awe, because that little person soon will grow up and leave your side.
Remember, to give a warm hug to the one next to you because that is the only treasure you can give with your heart which doesn't cost a cent.
Remember, to say, "I love you" to your partner and your loved ones, but most of all to mean it.
A kiss and an embrace will mend hurt when it comes from deep inside of you.
Remember to hold hands and cherish the moment for someday that person will not be there again.
Give time to love, give time to speak, and give time to share the precious thoughts in your mind. Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

HOW TO STAY YOUNG

1. Throw out nonessential numbers. This includes age, weight and height. Let the doctor worry about them. That is why you pay him/her.

2. Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down.

3. Keep learning. Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever. Never let the brain idle.
" An idle mind is the devil's workshop." And the devil's name is Alzheimer's.

4. Enjoy the simple things.

5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.

6. The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person who is with us our entire life, is ourselves. Be ALIVE while you are alive.

7. Surround yourself with what you love, whether it's family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever. Your home is your refuge.

8. Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable, improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.

9. Don't take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, to the next county, to a foreign country, but NOT to where the guilt is.

10. Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.

AND ALWAYS REMEMBER:

Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

Pet names

2008-05-31T19:35:00.001-07:00

It constantly shocks me how old little Macen is getting. He's going to be 6 in a few weeks but the age itself means nothing to me really. Having no real sense of what a six year old should behave like, all I can do is look at the two baby nephews and remember when Mace was that little. Especially because his little brother is the spitting image of him.

The other week, it really hit close to home that our little baby really was growing up. When I went to visit him, he told me that his fish had died earlier and took me out to show me where the poor fish had been buried. Mace then dragged me upstairs to show off his new red fish.

Let's be clear here - Mace has had a fish since he was about a year old. The fishs' names have always been "Choo Choo" because that was pretty much the only word Mace could say at the time. Well, that and "Dada" but there was someone else already answering to that. So Choo Choo is was.

Macen's second pet was a little pug named "Lilo" for the cartoon Lilo & Stitch. Finally, his new puppy was named "Ruby" for Max & Ruby.

Back to the story at hand. Mace showed me his new fish, which I assumed was named Choo Choo (4) but that was not to be so. Macen gave me a 'duh' look and informed me that the newest member of the family is named "Luke". As in Luke Skywalker! I guess the days of our innocent little baby are long past but I thought we had some more time with our little boy. Before I know it, he's going to be out dating little girls who don't deserve him. Goddess forbid.

Cote d'Azur finale

2008-05-28T23:50:00.000-07:00

I can't believe it's taken me this long to finish this...especially because I wrote most of it while I was on the road anyway!

Day three once again dawned bright and early. I had kept this day free to go into the Alps and mountain villages. Started off in St Paul en Vence for my morning coffee. This is the village right by my hotel and I had yet to make it there. The village itself was beautiful and quaint. Tucked into the mountainside and surrounded by hills, there's been little to no modern development to it and it shows.

Next stop was Cannes – only because on a whim, I decided to take that exit on the roundabout. I pretty much decided there and then that it wouldn’t be a bad idea to go there before heading to the Verdon Gorge in case I ran out of time.

Driving inside Cannes sucked ass. Even worse than Monacco and that's saying a lot. But at least it was a straight shot to the beach where the lovely, expensive yatchs lolled in their moorings. I walked around until it was time for lunch, which was a lovely banana crepe on the beach (I could really get used to this kind of eating)!

As I was walking back to my car to leave, I was stopped by a lovely man named Montana. It seems this very intelligent guy lived in NYC for 15 years and decided he’d had enough, packed it all up and moved to the EU. He currently lives in Italy with his wife and two kids and also has a place in Cannes. Pays the bills by being a golf instructor but seems to have many other ventures around. This guy has got the right idea!! I’ve decided that one day I’m going to do the same. I should let work know. Jaap, if you’re reading this, consider yourself warned.

Okay, it was now 2pm and I really needed to hit the road. The tour book said to give the canyons a full day but since when do I ever heed tour guides? I made it to Grasse (perfume capital of the world) and promptly got lost. Since I also needed the loo, I stopped at the Fragranod perfumerie and then since I was there anyway, I took their 25 minute tour. Did you know it takes about 6000 kilos of roses to make 1 litre of essence of rose for perfumes?

Finally at 3pm I headed toward the Gorge. After a hair-raising couple of hours, I finally made it to the cooler viewpoints. WOW!!! As I stood on top of those canyons, I wondered what the hell someone with vertigo was doing up there anyway. Still, it was amazing and worth the trip. Though, I would do it via tour bus next time. The drive really wasn't that much fun on my own, especially later in the day. The road was pretty much four hours of this :(

On my way home, I stopped by a little village where I guess is the touring start/stop point for the Gorge. I've never seen a 10 square mile of land so filled with bikers, hikers & granolas in my life. And I'm from the ISLAND! How mind-boggling is that?

10pm and it was home sweet home (after getting lost yet again) but the damned restaurant in the hotel was closed at 9:30!!! I thought that Europeans ate later than we did?!!? What gives? So I ate a bunch of food I had picked up at various patisseries and boulangeries along the way…how could I resist?

Three things occurred to me that evening. First that I was leaving the next day (sniff, sniff) and second, I hadn’t seen anything of Nice and third I had not once put on my bikini! Still, I had at least another 14 hours before heading to the airport, plenty of time to check a few things off.

So, after a quick dip in the beautiful hotel pool I headed to bed for an early start. The next morning, I headed to Nice for yet another crepe (had to get them all in before I went back to rainy Vancouver) and a short meander around Old Nice and their famous flower market. Frankly, it's a smaller, outdoor version of Granville Island - I wouldn't go back. But they DID have great croissants :)

And that's it - my short sojourn into the French Riviera ended on a high note too. When I bought the car back with a petite scratch, the lovely people at Hertz said I didn't need to pay for it. Viva la France!!!

Broomsticks and memories

2008-05-20T22:12:00.000-07:00

I was at my mom's house the other day and leaning against her kitchen door was a broom that they use in Vietnam. It's basically a bunch of rushes bundled together without much of a handle so you have to bend over double to use it.

Let's not even talk about what the hell my mom was doing with it when she's got all the top of the line brooms, mops and swifters at her house. I love her but sometimes that woman just baffles me.

The reason I'm actually writing about this is it reminded me of an "incident" that happened when I was in Vietnam back in 2004. Tammi and I had spent several days in my grandma's village, which up until then had only seen one whitie (my brother-in-law who had visited the year before). This was well before the little hotel with Shirtless Ron was built (that's a whole other story) so we stayed at my grandma's house. It was about three in the morning when Tammi shook me awake and told me she heard rustling on the floor and wanted me to go investigate!!! Finally realizing that I wasn't going to get any sleep unless I did something, I bravely got out of bed and ran into the kitchen to grab anything handy (in this case, said broom). I then spent about half an hour poking around our suitcases and bags on the ground to look for the rogue rat. Let me clarify here that rats in Vietnam vary in sizes from small dog to large skunk. After my seriously half-hearted attempt (I didn't REALLY want to find it!) I finally gave up and crawled back into bed and told Tammi to stick a pillow over her head so she wouldn't hear it anymore.

Good times on the road!!!

Nice - part deux

2008-05-07T22:37:00.000-07:00

Day Two
As I mentioned in the previous post, I crashed at around 8 the night before and woke up at around 7 the next morning. I made my way downstairs to get my coffee. Notice the shades and tank top?

The general plan for the day was to head towards Aix-en-Provence to the west but somehow I ended up on the freeway going east. There was obviously nothing for it but to swing by the big shopping center, CAP 3000. Hey, it was right there and I needed to turn around anyway. It was a huge disappointment though. At least I got to practice my French. Un croissant s'il vous plait!

Once I was back to the open road I decided I should get my ass out as westerly as I was going and then take a meandering way back. It took just under 2 hours to get to Aix-en-Provence. Side note and recommendation for anyone who wants to follow in my footsteps - do NOT drive down the A8 freeway between 130-150km/hour with the top of the convertible down, no matter how warm it is. By the end of the trip, I felt like Bridget Jones when she arrived to the B&B for her mini-break with Daniel Cleaver. For those of you who don’t know what I’m talking about, let’s just say that it wasn’t pretty. I made a mental note to throw a comb into my bag (which I would forget everyday!).

Provence was beautiful. Everyone describing Provence always talk about the “light” there that drew artists such as Cézanne. As a very un-artistic person, I didn’t really know (or care) what they were talking about. But when you get to Provence, it’s immediately obviously that there’s something special there. The “light” washes everything in a warm glow. After lunch, I decided it was time to move on…still had far to go.

I immediately headed south towards the coast and head towards a blip in the map called Casse. This town was called out in the travel book and is well worth a pit stop. The center of town was difficult to get to (very, very narrow, winding and steep roads)and insanely crowded as there was some event going on. I made several laps and couldn't find a place to park so I just drove through. The thing to note is that all the roads in the center of town look like marble! Incredible. As I was leaving Casse, I got a little lost and ended up driving down this strange narrow path. It had a wall on both sides and I could barely fit my small little converible. I was driving down it for about five mintues before a car started to come out a driveway and turn towards me. I was going the wrong way!!! Oops. The French should consider putting up those Do not enter signs.

I made my leisurely way towards St Tropez just in time for dinner. The road into St Tropez was very long and windy. Reminded me of the drive to Tofino on the Island with less cliffs. St. Tropez is very posh (check out the parkade!) and insanely, insanely expensive!

I picked a nice little Italian place right in the center of town and watched groups of old men play bocci while having dinner.

Now that I was full of lovely seafood pasta, I was tired and just wanted to get home. So, I put the top up and got on the A8 (see, not as dumb as I look) and hauled ass home. Sort of anyway. I ended up missing my damned exit THREE times. Grrr.

Strange Encounters

2008-05-05T20:58:00.000-07:00

The oddest thing happened to me today. I was walking into the grocery store by my house after work and this guy ran up behind me, stuck his head in front of my face. I jumped back and took my iPod earphones out so I could hear him. He repeated a litany of noises that I assumed was some Asian language that I didn't understand. As I looked at him blankly and trying to come up with a Vietnamese response to this very Caucasian white guy, he repeated himself. Again! So, he finally clicks in and says, "Oh, you're not Japanese?" No shit sherlock. (For the record, I don't look anything like a Japanese girl!!!).

He then asks me what nationality I was. I gave him my standard response of "Canadian" which kind of threw him. At this point I had to do a small reality check to see if I was still in Vancouver. Check. When he finds out that I'm of Vietnamese descent he brilliantly pipes up with "I LOVE dim sum". That's great, so do I but it's not Vietnamese. Geez.

By this point his friend had caught up with us and so we stood in the aisle and chatted for a while. The friend had just moved from Calgary about a year ago while Mr. Asian was moving here in three weeks from Edmonton. Well, that explained a lot. Vancouverites simply aren't that friendly. Nor do they chase down any dark-haired woman and assume she's going to understand Japanese.

The great thing is his exit is as great as his entrance. To set the stage, I should mention that these two guys train people on how to pay off their debts & mortgages in half the time. As I'm about to leave, Mr. Asian says, "So if any of your friends have mortgages that they need help with, you should let us know". I walked away as his friend gave him a look of disbelief.

Nice vacation (get it?)

2008-04-30T07:17:00.000-07:00

I was lucky enough to sneak a short trip to the French Riviera at the end of a business trip to the UK last week. Within a few hours I had decided that I need to live there so two things I needed to do. 1) Find a guy to buy me a fabulous villa and 2) let work know. Jaap, if you’re reading this, consider it a heads up!

Day One

I woke up VERY early (5am) to get my flight to Nice. This means that I had almost a full day on Thursday as I landed at 10am local time. After a smooth flight, I go to the Hertz counter to hear that they have a promo on convertibles that weekend! So, I picked up my AWESOME little red convertible and within an hour I’ve put a big scratch in it. In my defense, I am both an Asian and a woman driver.

After that shaky start, I finally get to the hotel to check in only to find the road blocked by about 150 old people. As in really, really old – and they just surrounded my car and kept staring at me. Like I was the one with Alzheimer’s and didn’t realize that I couldn’t drive on a damned road. I had purposely booked a hotel that was quieter and outside the city but this was ridiculous. For a second, I was tempted to do a little car bowling but finally managed to turn it around and parked way the hell down the road. After finally checking in and changing, I decided it was time to take that hot car for a drive.

I had purposely not bought any street maps of the area – just the general area one that came with my little guide book. I firmly believe that the key to a successful road trip is in not stressing about getting lost. I figured that I’d head in the general direction of Nice and see where the road led me.

It lead me through some crazy ass winding roads crowded with people and cars parked willy nilly. Having decided that I wasn't going to find any parking, I drove straight though (well, as straight as any European road allows) and followed a sign for the small village of Eze. One my way, I found a little place to pull over to take some great shots of Nice from above. Another two minutes down the road, I saw a sign for a restaurant called La Belle View. Sounded good to me so I pulled over and had an awesome fish lunch.

After paying 33 Euros(!), I got back in the car and drove towards Monacco. Monte Carlo is a beautiful, wealthy town. I parked at the Palace and wandered around for a few hours. Though beautiful, Monte Carlo reminds me of a smaller, slicker LA which is so not my scene. I quickly tired of the crowds and headed back to the car. On the way out, I had to drive under the castle - very cool! Kinda felt like driving out of the Bat Cave. However, I had the top of the car down and stuff kept dripping all over me. Ewww... I’m hoping it was nothing more than sea water but not going to look into it any further. Some things are not worth knowing.

The drive back to Nice took for flipping ever! By the time I got there, it was pretty late and all the stores had closed. I only stayed long enough to drop by a small little grocer for a couple pieces of fruit for my hotel room. When I was ready to pay, the owner answered his phone and talked and talked and talked. I had read enough to know that this was normal for France so I just stood and waited. Finally, the only other patron, a little old man who had been buzzing around getting three huge bags of potatoes and ten (!) eggplants spewed a ton of rapid French to the guy on the phone and then looked at me expectantly. Um, je ne parle pas Francais? Whatever the little man said, it got the guy off the phone and ringing in my purchases.

After getting back to my hotel around 8pm, I decided to take a short nap before dressing up for dinner – yes, my swanky hotel expected you to be dressed smartly which I took to mean that my jeans, tank top and flip flops were not going to work. The next thing I knew, it was 6am the next morning! I was still in my clothes, contacts in and all the lights on. Oops. Clearly I needed the rest though and I felt totally refreshed and excited about the day ahead.

To be continued...

Birth Control

2008-04-23T02:15:00.000-07:00

I was just in my dumpy hotel lobby at the dumpy Holiday Inn in Guildford and saw a guy who was with 5 girls. All under the age of 10. All looked exactly like him. Poor bastard has got a rough life ahead of him.

Dating tips for clueless men

2008-03-01T01:39:00.000-08:00

The "Hopeless Romantic" resurfaced the other day!!! By sending me spam (I was bcc'ed) with a link to "Z Day and the Zeitgeist Movie"! This guy is like a bad rash that just won't go away. Unbelievable that he would spam me more than eight months after I finally got rid of him. Even worse that he would send me something, not only dated but also with so much political and religious tones. It seems that this guy needs even more help than even I thought. Here's a list for you buddy - free of charge.

-Do not describe yourself as "hopeless" under any circumstances. No way to get out of that without looking like an ass.
-Do not EVER suggest to a woman under the age of 90 that she would be happier barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen.
-Do not suggest that the second date be a mini-vacation. That just screams axe-murderer.
-Do not open the box labelled "Finished Business". Especially when that business was one "want-to-poke-my-eyes-out-cause-I'm-so-bored" date. That's four hours of my life I'm still bitter about not getting back.
-Do not spam anyone you are even remotely interested in (or anyone you haven't known for over two years) with political or religious emails/links/etc, regardless of how cool you may think it makes you sound. Hell, just don't spam people. Period.

Actually, while I'm on this dating rant...I have recently been dipping my toes (tentatively) back into the dating pool and man, it's even worse than I remember. The last three guys I've met have had some common themes. All are in their mid/late-30's. All hate their jobs or are in a time of "transition". ALL asked me if my company was hiring!!! None got second dates.

I guess I could add to my list. Here goes:
-Do not talk about things that depress you such as your job, life or family. Also, don't call me if you're that bloody unhappy with yourself in the first place! I'm not a freaking therapist and a coffee is not enough compensation to listen to you rant about your crap life. Get off your ass and do something about it instead of wasting my time.
-Do not ask me if EA is hiring. Do I look like a damn job board? If I had known I was going to be going to an interview instead of a date I wouldn't have put on heels. Jesus.
-Do not follow up a very boring dinner date with an email or text that includes any of the following words: eyes, smile, shines, stars or heaven. I will forward said email/text to friends and we will laugh our collective asses off. And no, you will STILL not get a second date. Dumbass.

Introducing Brandon

2008-01-18T16:20:00.000-08:00

It's been a while since I've last written and much has happened. Most notably, there's a new addition to the Nguyen clan. Well, technically I guess it's the "Huskey" clan.

Beautiful Brandon joined us after a quick and harrowing 45 mins(!) on Dec 9th. He looks so much like his older brother Macen that it's absolutely uncanny. Here's hoping he has the same smart mouth that makes Mace just soooo fun!

Pilot's Guide to Vietnam

2007-11-11T18:34:00.000-08:00

Here is a link to the Pilot's Guide to Vietnam.

If you don't watch anything else, skip to the 55min mark and see the guy try the "egg". It's hilarious and a very good warning to those of you who want to go to Vietnam!

Also, at the beginning, the chick goes to the Chinese market, Cho Long, literally translated as Large Market. It was here that I was headed when that woman threw up on me on the bus. Ahhhh...good times :)

Enjoy!

Truly random thoughts

2007-10-31T00:33:00.000-07:00

Oh my God, it's almost the end of another month and I still haven't written an Oct blog. It's funny because as I go through the day to day chaos that is my life right now, I'll have brief pauses where I think "oh, must write about that" but then I sit in front of my computer for a few minutes and draw a total blank. Below are some of the things I can remember.

Romance part deux
Okay, up first is the sequel to last month's blog. A friend kindly reminded me that I left out the best part of this sad saga. After having escaped worse date of my life, I had to deal with this clueless dude repeatedly calling me. Not only that, he suggested that I go to a remote ranch with him by Merritt for a SECOND date. When I bluntly turned that down, he offered up his Whistler condo! Aside from the fact that I could barely suffer his company for 4 hours much less a whole weekend, who in the world suggests a mini-vacation as a second date?!?!?! Boggles the mind.

"Would you like fries with that massage?"
I recently witnessed the best pick up at a bar ever!!! A girlfriend and I were at a seedy sports bar on Granville St when a massage girl came over with her lotion and told my friend that some dude in the bar had bought her a massage. For those of you who don't know what a massage girl is, they're usually scantily clad women found at strip clubs who stand behind you and give you a 10 min massage while you're sitting there drinking with your friends. Um, not that I know this from experience. *cough* Moving on... So, anyway, my girlfriend wasn't really down with it but the massage chick just wouldn't take no for an answer. The result of this tactic is TBC but the actual pick up was genius. That dude's got some courage since we were sitting at a table with three guys. Kudos to you, you know who you are :)

Random thought
I recently added a widget to my iGoogle (yes, I'm a geek) which gives me "Things to ponder". This great little box provides great entertainment when I'm looking for a break and I've been known to sit there and hit the refresh button for ten minutes reading these. (I think we may have stumbled upon one of the reasons I'm single.) Anyway, the most recent one is this:

If it is tourist season, why can't we shoot them?

HAH! So relevant as I've been thinking about whether or not I want to be in Vancouver for the madness that will invariably be the 2010 Olympics. On the one side, how often will I be in a city while the Olympics are happening? On the other hand...well, isn't it obvious?

Here's another one to tide you over til next time: Why do old men wear their pants higher than young men do?

Something I dug up

2007-09-20T00:04:00.000-07:00

So, I was cleaning out my old emails and came across something I wrote in January 2004 when I went to Vietnam with my friend Tammi. This is my last email before heading home after a month of travels in the Motherland. I'll try to find the other emails but in the meantime, enjoy.

Tammi and I are back in Saigon after several restful days on my Grandma's hammock.

After a few days in beautiful Hue, we took a 20 hour train ride back to Saigon and 4 hour bus ride back to Grandma's village. My first view of An Nhon was from the back of a 50-year-old motorcycle which I was afraid was not going to support my 95 pound frame. We were told that we could be taken straight from Saigon to the Village however about 5 kilometers from our destination, the driver of the bus kicked us out and got us on motorcycles for the remainder of the trip. Evidently he was late in picking up his girlfriend.

Grandma's village was fun but very, very quiet. The big thing was a "carnival" for the New Year. You could throw large, plastic bowls at some cans of juice on the ground (and win said can). Or there's the little ball that you toss into glasses and you can win noodles. My personal favourite was a type of roulette table that you can bet on and the prize is a large bag of MSG. Yes folks, that's right. MSG. Tammi and I were a huge hit there. Whatever booth we were at was packed! The villagers followed us around with a look of vacant awe on their faces. Very funny. (Note: This is because Tammi is a tall, white girl. The only other "whitie" these people had ever seen was my brother-in-law who had visited the year before)

We also went on a leisurely bike ride in the village. The bikes date back to the fall of Saigon and had little baskets on the front of them. Along the way, my aunt and uncle passed us on a motorbike and asked if we wanted to see their shrimp farm. We readily agreed and followed them on our rickety bikes. Soon we were mountain biking up and down small hills, avoiding large ruts and larger potholes. Then we had to dismount and walk across a monkey bridge. You may wonder what a monkey bridge is. Well the term "bridge" is very loose. Yes, it does allow you to cross over a body of water but it consists of a thicker log to walk on and one or two thin logs at waist height to hold on too. Though I seriously doubt that the handles could support any kind of weight should you feel like falling.

Okay, I'd better go ahead and admit this now otherwise Tammi is going to blabber about it anyway. I fell. Off the bike. And got stuck. There. On the way back to the main road, I took a turn wrong and ended up with my head about a foot from some shit-brown water, my ass in the air and my foot caught under the bike on the path. Not one of my shining moments. Tammi was laughing so hard that she couldn't even help me up. Sheesh.

Yesterday, we went to see a fortune-teller. Tammi's gonna have a Vietnamese boyfriend and I'm gonna to be a dried up old spinster. Actually, she said with my personality, I'm going to have trouble finding a husband. I guess not that many guys can take my shining wit. Luckily though I'm smart and am going to be rich. Throughout the trip back to Saigon today, Tammi and I have been on the lookout for her boyfriend. No dice but we've got a few days yet.

Speaking of the trip back! Hitched a ride with my uncle (he had rented a mini-van). Little did I know that we had to stop to pick up his friend. This "friend" turned out to be half the population of a small village (men, women and children), enough food to feed them for an entire year AND a tree. At least on the local buses, they tie the tree and sacks of clams to the top of the bus! Next time, I go local bus...chickens and all.

In my month here I have been thrown up on, ALMOST trampled to death not to mention the near bath in shit-filled water!

I went there as a Canadian tourist and came back as a Vietnamese-Canadian, proud of my lineage and rich heritage.

Romance is not dead my friends. But it should be.

2007-09-18T00:10:00.000-07:00

Okay, I'm committed to write in this thing at least once a month and this is the September edition, even though it happened many months ago.

The dating stories seem to amuse everyone the most so I go back to the original purpose of this blog. To entertain everyone with the trials of being a single girl who really doesn't want that to change.

So, many months ago I met a guy who had the alarm bells clanging almost immediately. For one thing, he told me within minutes that he was a "hopeless romantic". I told him I'm not particularly keen on getting to know anyone who describes themselves as "hopeless" in any sense.

And yet a few days later I found myself being "whisked away" (his words, not mine) in a 20 year old caddy convertible. We pick up some take out sushi in Kits and head to Spanish Banks. When we get there, he opens his enormous car trunk and it's crammed with everything! Blankets, cutlery, wine and I'm pretty sure I could've found a body somewhere in there if we dug around. I didn't look too closely. Anyway, we grab a couple of blankets, wine and his picnic basket Okay, WTF? What kind of man drives around with a freaking picnic basket in his trunk? But I digress.

So the date is us sitting on the beach eating, talking and waiting to watch the sun set.

Romantic, huh? Yeah, you'd think.

It was really unfortunate that Dude had virtually no conversation skills. After about 45 minutes of rambling I decided I didn't give a toss and just sat in peaceful silence. After all, it's rare these days that I'm not in front of my computer so I decided to enjoy the time off and just relax.

Well, I guess this made him uncomfortable so he opened his mouth and started talking.

After a few progressively stupid questions like "When was the last time you got drunk?" (He met me at the bar three days prior...while I was drunk) and "What's EA?" (He works in technology in Vancouver!!!), he caps it off with an absolute humdinger.
By now I've checked out and his voice is but a minor irritating buzz in my ear but then I catch what he's saying about a regressive movement of women. I perked up and asked what he meant by that. His response? "One of these days, you women are going to get sick of the rat race and return to the home." I stared at him in blank shock and finally squeaked out "You mean, we'll leave our jobs and be more content being pregnant and in the kitchen"? He answers, "Well, maybe not pregnant". And that sad, sad twat was utterly serious.

Remember how I mentioned that I was at Spanish Banks? Well, for those of you who don't know where that is, it's in a fairly remote area and there wasn't a hope in hell of me finding a cab. I can NOT believe I made the rookie mistake of getting stuck!!! He picked me up at 6 and the sun didn't frickin' set until 10 that night. Longest damned date of my life.

In case you may be thinking that I was a bit harsh on him, the dumb ass actually had the gall to call me for a second date. I'm still not sure if that's courageous or sheer stupidity. But I was too busy with my cooking classes. Had to get ready for my regressive movement after all.

You know it's bad when...

2007-08-29T21:18:00.000-07:00

Last weekend, I spent several relaxing days at a Lake Cabin with my sister, her husband and their 5 year old son. One morning over breakfast, the little munchkin, Macen asked if Auntie Rita was going have a baby too. When told she needed a husband first, he asked when I would have a husband. After we said that I needed a boyfriend, he paused for a few minutes and then he said with all the earnestness of a child, "Well, I know a lot of boys". Oh, from the mouth of babes. The worse part is that I too know a lot of "boys" and that's why I am still single :).

Other than that, I spent several days alternating between sleeping by the lake and catching grasshoppers and butterflies with Macen. Life was great. Especially because there was no cell service there, meaning no blackberry!

PS, I love you

2007-06-26T21:43:00.000-07:00

I decided on a whim that I deserved a mini-vacation, not only for working like a demon but also for officially reaching my third decade. So I booked a flight for Palm Springs with the vague plan of sitting by a pool and not talking to anyone for three days unless I required sustenance of the solid or liquid variety. So I book my flight late Wednesday night and write a comment on my Facebook profile about this. I should have known better. Early the next morning, my sister promptly booked a flight to Palm Springs. Incidentally, this is an hour after she asked me why I was going to Florida for the weekend and upon realizing Palm Springs was in California, saying only I would be crazy enough to hang out in a desert. She's just lucky I wasn't planning a secret rendevouz with a guy - it would've been really embarrassing to make her sleep on the balcony. So anyway, the next afternoon, we head out to the airport and find ourselves in balmy Palm Springs a few hours later.

When I land, I find out that my suitcase didn't make it with me. I have a bad moment when I realize that my bikini is my bag but luckily Sally has a few extras. For the first time in my life, I actually see an advantage to having a sister. Especially one who is close to my size. After checking in, we go on a hunt for food. Luckily just across the street from the hotel is a little pizzeria and this is what happens to Sally:

Let me clarify that I have seen my sister in similar situations throughout my life so don't worry about her. She worked her way through that monster meatball sandwich with little effort.

After dinner we head back to the hotel and I wrap up some work so I can relax for the next three days while Sally turns on the TV. Two minutes later, she starts shrieking in such a high pitch that my mortal, human ears could not hear it. She had found a piece of lint on her bed that she swore was a spider. This was the result:

This is NOT turning out to be the relaxed vacation of my dreams.

The next morning shines bright, clear and over 40 degrees. We start to walk around the quaint little town and then hit the pool. It's rather small but there's more than enough chairs that offer mists overhead. We grab a couple and within an hour and a half, Sally is looking a little lobster-ish. What kind of Asian is she anyway??? So we decide to rent a car and head to the outlet where we spend a pleasurable FIVE hours.

The next day we decide to take a drive into the cesspool that is LA. Sally is an avid reader of celebrity rags. Especially online ones like www.gossipfeast.com so she promptly directs us to Hollywood Blvd. We spend a couple of hours here and have lunch.

Then it was off to Robertson Blvd to shop where the stars shop. After visiting a few obscenely expensive stores we wearily head back to the car and back to Palm Springs but not before a pit stop at In & Out Burger. What would a trip to California be without visiting good ol' In & Out?

The last day was 6 hours of this:

which is how I ended up so burnt that I couldn't wear jeans for three days.

All in all, a fabulous trip. That is, until we start packing to go home. I had packed a larger sized suitcase, knowing that I was going to buy things to bring home. Sally on the other hand just packs a little carry on bag. Not only does she buy 6 pairs of shoes, a couple of bags and some clothes, none of which she can actually fit in her suitcase, she also buys two huge, fluffy bath mats. She goes on vacation and buys TOWELS!!! I ended up buying another suitcase to get our shit home. Still, it was good shit so well worth it :)

Another fun quiz. Uncanny how true these things can be!

2007-06-05T13:40:00.000-07:00

Your Birthdate: June 21

You're a restless rebel with an unpredictable nature.
Bright but unbridled, you tend to seek out wild experiences over new ideas.
People are frustrated by your great potential, but you love your unconventional life.
You're a heartbreaker. People get attached to you, and then you're gone.

Your strength: Your thirst for adventure

Your weakness: Not taking time for slow pleasures

Your power color: Hot pink

Your power symbol: Figure eight

Your power month: March

My shout out

2007-05-25T23:12:00.000-07:00

My sister's boyfriend started an online gossip rag and has asked friends & family to write about it.

Cam, here's your shout out for www.gossipfeast.com

Check it out and stay abreast of what Britney's up to. Hmmm, maybe using the word "abreast" is not the best idea in this context.

All in the name of research

2007-05-23T23:44:00.000-07:00

So, I finally had a quiet night in with my XBOX a couple of weeks ago. Took it home along with a couple of shooter games a colleague lent me. After having spent several hours with Gears of War, I'm still barely able to walk forward and forget about when people start shooting at me. I didn't even manage to get through the tutorial :( But I DID have fun shooting my guns randomly and throwing my body against doors and railings. That latter was not done on purpose but fun nonetheless.

The next weekend, I picked up Guitar Hero II as I'm currently working on another rhythm game. How FUN. I'm now absolutely addicted and played over the whole long weekend. And I RAWK. Well, in I do in easy mode anyway. This weekend was going to be all about Need for Speed but I haven't quite gotten away from Guitar Hero yet.

Here's the best part and why my family hasn't stopped laughing at me. Last Sunday, I went out to Future Shop and bought a new 32" flat screen TV on a whim and mostly cause my previous 21" was just too small to play games on. Yes, I can admit it.

Toothbrush woes

2007-05-07T23:31:00.000-07:00

This is one of the funniest stories I've heard in a long time so I had to share it. I did warn my friends and family that if they did anything blog-worthy, they should be prepared to read about it.

My younger sister moved back to Vancouver a couple of weeks ago and is bunking down at my parent's place. The other day she was vigorously brushing her teeth and when she was almost done, looked down and saw her toothbrush on the counter!! She obviously freaked out and we had a great laugh about it over the weekend. When I asked who owned the toothbrush, she couldn't answer.

Today she got her answer. Sort of. Apparently, my youngest brother had used this toothbrush to CLEAN HIS GOLF GEAR. I can not even begin to imagine the germs and dirt she was swishing around in her mouth. Even worse, my brother very reasonably pointed out that it would've been a waste of money to buy a new toothbrush to clean golf gear. That means that at some point in the distant past, this was someone else's toothbrush! Sick.

So the origins of the toothbrush remain a mystery but the story remains hilariously disgusting anyway.

Oh well, this is the same girl who ate doggie treats by accident so I guess she's going to be fine. You'd think that at 25 though, she would know not to stick everything she sees in her mouth. Perhaps she's learned her lesson but somehow I doubt it.

Việt Kiều

2007-04-29T21:47:00.000-07:00

Today is the 32nd anniversary of the fall of Saigon. Every year my parents go to some type of a dinner commemorating it but it has had little effect on my life. Tonight, we had dinner together and my parents spoke at length about their story and it hit me hard that it is also my story. A part of my past that somehow I have lost along the way. Granted I was still a toddler yet it saddened me that I knew so little about it. Over the years my parents have given me little bits of the story, some hilarious, some sad but all are invariably moving.

I've always known that my dad was an officer in the South Vietnamese army and spent the 4 years between the fall of Saigon and when we fled as a constant fugitive. There were many failed attempts at leaving and even more close calls before we successfully landed in Malaysia. Perhaps it's because we're older, but my parents were much more honest tonight about the horror and terror of those years. Even more shocking was realizing that they were younger than I am now when they went through this. And I thought I had troubles...

I did some quick research this evening and was shocked to find that there are an estimated 1.6 million Vietnamese boat people who fled Vietnam between 1975 to the late 1980s. According to the report of United Nations High Commissioner For Refugees, 1/3 of these people died at sea by killing, storms, illness,and food shortage. Luckily, my family landed safely in Malaysia's main refugee camp, the island of Pulau Bidong. A few months later, we flew to Campbell River, BC where I spent much of my youth.

Against all odds, my parents landed in Canada with nothing and have overcome language barriers and cultural differences to raise 5 relatively normal and moderately successful children. I've always wanted to write their story and perhaps one day I will finally find the time and discipline to do it. In the meantime, these stories serve as a reality check for me and remind me how much I love and respect my mom and dad. I am currently awed by them and that's a great feeling.

2007-04-26T18:48:00.000-07:00

I have totally sucked about keeping this updated. I even have 4 or 5 draft ideas that have been sitting there waiting to be written for the past month but just can't seem to find the time. That's because when I have a spare minute I'm on Facebook being a voyeur on other people's lives. Very odd how that particular social network has appealed to such a mass audience. Even more odd that everyones boundaries around privacy seems to have stretched significantly.

The worse part is that I've actually had a lot of people tell me that they've enjoyed this blog in recent days. Kind of funny to hear as I'm still not sure how I feel about sharing the writing. I've been writing in journals since I was a child but have always kept it private so no one has ever read anything I haven't written outside of work and the occasional rant email (unless one of my nosy siblings got to one of my books. Yes, Sally, that means you).

Anyways, this note is for you guys who do tune in...I haven't forgotten. Watch for the Vegas post coming soon.

The worse question in the world

2007-04-08T22:01:00.000-07:00

Why are you still single?

Okay, how do you answer such a stupid question? Either you're conceited and say that you haven't found anyone good/hot/smart enough or are self-deprecating and say that no one wants you. God forbid you say it's because you actually *gasp* WANT to be single. That obviously doesn't compute for those...erm, fortunate ones(?) who are in a relationship.

As I write this, I can't help but think of the relationships I've seen fall to ruin all around me lately. Granted, at this age, you're either going to make a go at it or you'll walk away. No one really wants to waste their time but in our younger years we tend to tolerate more stupidity and ridiculousness for the trade off of having good conversation, sex or dinners. If you're lucky, you'll get all three, not necessarily in that order of course. But I digress.

This past year has seen a slew of train wreck breakups through my extended network of friends. I am luckily in a Utopia of no drama or stress, at least as it pertains to the opposite sex. I'm happily callous in my casual relationships and blissfully selfish with my time. That's right and I'm not afraid to admit it.

Oh, and I am VERY happy to be single regardless of the reason. Because frankly, does the "why" really matter?

Guitar Hero next door

2007-03-30T17:05:00.000-07:00

It's Friday afternoon and I wonder if I will hear the Guitar Hero next door. Every Friday evening, the dude next door is either killing a cat or "playing" a guitar and singing at the top of his lungs. I can only hope that this is a bit of a joke and he's having fun on a video game. But I suspect he's not.

This in and of itself is bad enough but his repertoire of songs seems to be limited to old Guns N Roses and KC and the Sunshine Band. Sigh.

Biggest mistake of my life

2007-03-26T22:07:00.000-07:00

Last weekend I walked out of my apartment and almost ran into THE EX. As in the big, fat-ass blob I was with for more than 2 months. And for the first time in the 4 years that we've been broken up, he didn't wave stupidly at me when he saw me. Possibly because he was actually walking with another girl.

As my sister points out, I run into my ex more than anyone else she knows. It's occurred to me though that this is my own freakin' fault. He was living in Delta - in his parent's basement when I met him. Yeah, yeah, I know...and no, I don't know what the hell I was thinking at the time. Anyways, it was ME that moved him into Yaletown. I moved him into my own neighbourhood!

Once I got past the anger with myself, I did have a great giggle cause he's got his cool, frosted tips back :)

Box labeled "Finished Business"

2007-03-17T23:43:00.000-07:00

What is it with guys who resurface years after a relationship has died?

I had coffee with a girlfriend today who has had someone from the distant past resurface recently. His maudlin "what if" musings were not only incredibly stupid but such a waste of time. Aside from the fact that they haven't seen each other in over half a decade, he also lives half a world away. Then there's the fact that she's been with someone else for years.

The conversation got me remembering something I learned in a psych class back in university. Research shows that immediately after a breakup, women are depressed and upset and likely to booty call the recent ex. But they'll eventually get over it. Guys on the other hand, don't deal at all. They go on as if nothing has happened and resurface about 7-12 months later looking to recapture the "good times". By then, most of the anger and issues are forgotten and the guys only remember what they lost. Then they call the girl and wreak havoc on her life because chances are she's moved on by then. This is what I call opening the box labeled "Finished Business".

This has happened to me enough times that I've added it to my personal "not acceptable" list. Currently, there's only three items.

1. No opening the "Finished Business" box.
2. No cheating.
3. No mono-brows.

www.LiarLife.com

2007-03-17T18:00:00.000-07:00

I found this on a friend's blog and it was just so funny that I had to share it.

I find it interesting that every one on online dating is fit and active and enjoys “hiking, snow-boarding, skiing, extreme sports”. Either they are all a bunch of liars, have done each sport once (i.e. “I walked to the store 2 weeks ago”, “I was ten and decided to stand on my toboggan going down the hill”, “I went on a class trip once to a ski hill”, “I was hammered with my friends and I ran into the middle of the freeway….man it was awesome…like Frogger”). Or...

Those good looking jocks from high-school whom we were all afraid of are the ones that are going to end up alone (ha). Well, wait a second; every one on there is also “very intelligent”.

So the intelligent jocks from high-school are going to end up alone. Do you remember any of those from high-school?

THEN add “good-looking" to the mix.

Where ARE all of these fabulous people in the real world and why do they need to resort to on-line dating?

There needs to be more marketing and less sales. How ‘bout a promotion? i.e. “date me and I will give you 5 free back-rubs a week”, “tell your friends I have a big c**k… dinner at the restaurant of your choice AND I will wash the floors and do laundry”.

NOW we’re talking.

Seriously, we are (I am) so sick of the sales game…I live in it daily…we are all trying to up-sell ourselves to one another…is that why so many marriage end in divorce now?

We fall for the sales pitch; once we’ve bought the vacuum we realize that it doesn’t suck. It just blows.

As for her promotion idea. How about a "try before you buy" promotion? Hundred percent returnable if it doesn't exceed expectations :)

A view into the future

2007-03-11T22:49:00.000-07:00

My mom recently went to a fortune teller in Vietnam. She does this several times a year and every time, she's told that I will marry really late in life. Compared to most Vietnamese girls, I'm already REALLY late. The girls there marry at 22 in the city and 17 in the villages. Well, this time around, the guy told mom that I would be married in my 40's!!! At least I now have a target to shoot for :)

The other thing that came up was that I would be fabulously wealthy. I guess that means I should move back to Calgary and look for my oil tycoon?

A reason for a man

2007-03-09T20:05:00.000-08:00

On Wednesday night I came home to find no water in the toilet bowl. Uh oh. That can't be a good thing. There are many, many things I have learned to do for myself. Living alone for over a decade teaches you a couple of things. One of the things I am not willing to learn or do is deal with a toilet. It's to sit on. Full stop. Nothing else I need to know about a toilet. So I called in the experts.

The two young guys arrived and put on their cute little blue booties, took one look and said it would be around $150 and did I want them to continue. What a ridiculous, rhetorical question. Even if I wasn't desperate for a pee, I would've said yes. What choice did I have at that point? Anyways, two more minutes go by and I hear the toilet flush. These happy little boys wander out for a $150 cheque!!! First of all, I'm so in the wrong business. Secondly, I realized that there actually IS a reason to have a guy around. At the very least I wouldn't have had to make small talk with two guys who just LOVE video games. Sigh.

Mandarin vs Cantonese

2007-03-08T00:05:00.000-08:00

So my new thing is taking up a Chinese language. I figure that I've taken enough of the European languages and that's a total lost cause so I'm going to try something totally different. Or perhaps, given my background, it's going back to the basics.

I figure it's time to start getting on with my life again and my life includes a variety of classes. The difficulty now is deciding which of these languages to choose. I was doing a lot of reading on it and though Mandarin is the official language and more widely spoken, Cantonese is definitely the more prevalent here in Vancouver. Not only that, much of the Chinese popular culture I enjoy is in Cantonese so it's perhaps the better, if not the most useful. I also found out that as a fluent Vietnamese speaker, Cantonese may be easier as they have many similar sounding consonants. Huh. Never knew that.

That said, the Cantonese one starts on a week that I'm in San Fran so it sucks that I would miss the first class. Still, it's probably the one I will choose.

Back in the dating scene?

2007-03-06T18:46:00.001-08:00

I knew it was a mistake right from the start. I went out for dinner with a guy last week. First mistake was to agree to dinner as a first date. Coffee is the way to go. Easy escape.

Among many things that went sideways, he answered his VERY loud ringing phone the second we were seated. He then proceeded to check his blackberry EVERY 2 minutes. He even had it on the dinner table for Christ sake. This was made worse by his constantly flirting with the waitress, who was incidentally very cool. The only good thing was that I managed to inhale dinner and get home within an hour. If there's one thing I am an expert at, it's getting out of a bad date *grin*.

God, I can't believe I previously complained about not having a date in nine months.

Costco

2007-03-06T00:29:00.001-08:00

I went to Costco for the first time in around 20 years tonight. WOW. I was loving the rows and rows of goodies but I had to wonder...who the hell would buy a Coach purse at COSTCO?!?!?! Which, let's admit, is barely a step up from Superstore. Who would even think of going there to buy one? What Costco buyer thought it would be a good idea to carry this type of merchandise?? Good grief. I wonder if it's a Yaletown thing though. Sounds just about pretentious enough to be limited to my corner of the world.

As I wandered though the uber bulk packages, I also had to wonder if I would ever get to a point where I would buy a package of 50 steaks. Please God, I hope not.

Here's another "hmmmm" thing. Why would Costco, home of the mammoth portions, not offer us bags to carry our purchases home?!?! Ridiculous. I was already concerned about buying a lot because I didn't want to haul it up to my apartment but didn't realize until AFTER I paid that they weren't even going to give me a bag! Instead, the pimply youth chucked my well chosen products into "boxes". That's a seriously tongue-in-cheek "boxes" too. They were little more than a cardboard bottom with corners. Not even cardboard all around. It was as if a child had cut out the middle pieces to make their arts and crafts. WTF? Here's a free CRM tip for Costco. If you want single females to shop there, you'll offer them something to carry their massive, 25 packaged boxes of tampons home. Jeez.

Though, I must say, I was very impressed with the clientele. Full of hot guys. I guess this is why you don't see them at Urban Fare. Why merely buy one pack of mac and cheese when, for just a few more dollars you get 40! That's like getting 37 for free!

I'm famous!

2007-02-28T16:20:00.000-08:00

WoW Character

2007-02-26T11:24:00.000-08:00

See how much of a geek I've become? This is my World of Warcraft personality apparently. I'm okay with this. I can embrace the inner geek.

Vietnam, Vietnam

2007-02-25T22:45:00.000-08:00

My brother returned from Vietnam this weekend and I finally got his pictures. I love looking through them but it's also a bit sad as it makes me really miss being there. Lots of great pictures from there!

Here's a few of my favourites.

The wedding location was incredible.

The whole lot of us!

Lots of shots of the girls.

And the boys.

And of course, Macen.

My Gamertag

2007-02-23T10:31:00.000-08:00

Here it is...I'm officially a total geek. And if you know what the below is, you're just as bad.

moodyrain

Medical system...fair?

2007-02-21T20:07:00.000-08:00

I was having a conversation with a friend the other night about the medical system here in Canada. We were discussing the merits of a mixed private and public system. I've heard the argument that this would be unfair to the people who can't afford to pay for more. The argument on the flip side is that it would put much needed relief on the public system. I obviously am not an expert but I do know that in the places where this works, the doctors have to spend a vast percentage of their billable hours in the public system to ensure that there is sufficient support.

I got my back up when the discussion turned to fair. It occurred to me that the sick people who were not working, thus not paying taxes were the ones who got the best service. The poor suckers like me who pay 40% of my paycheque to the system and goes to a doctor once a year has to wait hours to even talk to someone. That surely is not fair. To be clear, I do not have a problem with paying the obscene amount of taxes but I should also have the option of paying extra to see a doctor if and when required.

Speaking of taxes, last week the provincial government came out with the fiscal budget. As part of that, there is to be a 10% tax cut for people who make under $108k per year. Knee jerk reaction was to celebrate but then I thought about it. Seems that there would be much better uses for those billions. There are always stories about our health care and education systems, not to mention the environment. Truly, the extra in my paycheque would be nice but since I don't miss it anyway, I would much prefer that this "excess" money is put back into the system. This reminds me of the tax rebate cheque all Albertans received early last year. They were all ecstatic and I snickered the whole time at how short sighted and ridiculous they all were and here we are a year later. Sigh.

Running out of time?

2007-02-20T23:48:00.001-08:00

It's odd. I have recently been feeling like I'm running out of time. Make no mistake, this has nothing to do with a biological clock and a latent need to procreate. I surrounded by enough babies lately, thank you very much.

No, this is more about the fact that I've just returned home and turned 30. I feels that I shouldn't or couldn't really pick up and live in another country again. Not that I want to go anywhere (except back to the Motherland) but still, I feel like that option is simply not opened to me any longer. I guess I'm a bit afraid that I'll meet someone and settle down here and that would be it for my worldly wanders. Not just 2 week vacations, but where you settle into a different culture for an extended period of time. Having done this several times, I know that I will always return home to Vancouver because it's just that...home. However, I still like the freedom that comes from moving into a new city. Not only are the people and cultures different from home but I can be different. At this age, I'm comfortable enough to be who I am but it's still liberating to be in a totally strange environment with no ties to the society. To observe it as an outsider at the some time as I experience it as an insider.

I know that my recent sense of, I guess "urgency" is the best word, is ridiculous. I'm still young and have a lot of good years before I have to be worried about settling down. And yet, I can't help what I feel and I definitely feel age bearing down. Or is that reality biting me in the ass as I start to talk about settling down in Vancouver??? Food for thought.

2007 Outlook

2007-02-20T23:10:00.000-08:00

After three months in Vancouver, I'm still living in boxes and for the most part feel like a transient, even though I really am not any longer. My excuse is that I'm waiting for a new couch, which come to think of it, is not much of an excuse. I could've just bought one months ago but of course I procrastinated. So my excuse is that I'm waiting...and I'm sticking to it. I was once told that procrastination is just like masturbation. In the end, all you're doing is fucking yourself. Hah!

I've been on the "settling down" obsession since returning in November. I even bought a car!!! As my sister keeps reminding me, that's a HUGE committment. My feeling though is that if I truly wanted to leave, I would find a way to get rid of the "stuff". It's simply not important enough to hold me back from doing what I want to do. What does stop me is that I owe the new company my first and second child for what they paid to get me out here. Yikes. Luckily I love it more every day and have no intention of going anywhere.

As for my social life, I have been out quite a bit lately. It feels like I've reintegrated back into Vancouver life. Finally. Feels good to be with friends and family on a regular basis again. The picture is of the Red Cross girls and I at a Dessert Party. Yum.

The flip side is that I've given up on dating entirely. I just realized that I had not been on a proper date since May. That's NINE months!!! My God. I used to be so good at this. Looks like I've lost my mojo. Must've misplaced it somewhere in Calgary. Not the only thing I left behind, but the thing I miss the most.

Actually, what I miss the most is meeting guys who actually make an effort. I was interested in this guy recently and after an hour and a half of talking to him, he just asked me to come out and watch his band play. That was it. The kicker is that when I finally did, he just kept on with the sales pitch to come watch him play at another venue. I guess he just didn't have enough groupies. Jesus. I miss the good ol' days when guys asked you for your number, called and you go out for dinner/coffee/drinks. What happened to that? I guess I've just gotten old. Fak that. I'm still going to the Roxy, aren't I? Oh wait....

My Gamer Character

2007-01-25T15:55:00.000-08:00

I took one of those silly quizzes to see what kind of character I would be from the great, pre-1985 video game. What can I say? It's the new industry I've joined. However, this link was not given to me by a colleague...Anyways, this is what I turned out being.

I am a Pacman Ghost.

I like to hang around with friends, chatting, dancing, all that sort of thing. We don't appreciate outsiders, and do our best to discourage others approaching us. I enjoy occasionally wandering around randomly, and often find that when I do so, I get to where I wanted to be. What Video Game Character Are You?

It gets better. If I were not a Pacman Ghost then I would be...

I am Pacman.

I am an aggressive sort of personality, out to get what I can, when I can. I prefer to avoid confrontation, but sometimes when it's called for, I can be a powerful character. I tend to be afflicted with munchies constantly. What Video Game Character Are You?

The great return

2006-11-29T23:07:00.000-08:00

Well, my excitement in returning to Vancouver has dimmed somewhat. This could be due to the blizzard and deep freeze that broke all kinds of records in the Lower Mainland. Though, having just returned from Calgary, this may not have affected me as much as the lovely contaminated water I had to bathe in for over a week. Disgusting.

Speed dating is not just for the weirdos

2006-11-09T19:42:00.000-08:00

I finally tried speed dating with a friend last week, exactly three weeks before I was to head back to Vancouver. I went for the amusement factor and boy, it did not disappoint.

Let me preface this entry with the fact that I know there are normal people out there. I'll even concede that there are normal people in Calgary. Still, so many wierdos, so little time but let me give it a shot.

*Mr. Role Play*
Unfortunately, my first "date" of the evening started by bringing up role playing, which quickly devolves into a monologue about swords, magical capes and dragons with me just nodding occassionally. Is it racist for me to point out that he was Asian? Here's the best part. After our five minutes were up, he moved over to my friend, K's, table. He was furiously writing and when K noted that he was making a lot of notes, his response was that "we talked A LOT". We were not off to a good start.

*Mr. Web Designer*
This charming *cough* man (who incidentally looks like Igor) sat down and told me that he's done NOTHING in 5 years. Yes, he spoke in the emphatic. Lives in Okotok or some equally ridiculous sounding name. His sister nagged him enough to try this thing out. He recently started to shake things up by making career changes. Apparently, he's picked up web design. When asked what programming language he is most comfortable in, his response "Dreamweaver". Enough said.

*Mr. Argyll Sweater*
This poor man showed up in a sweater so ugly and so old that it reminded me of a grandfather's Christmas sweater and I kept waiting to see reindeer jump off it. I don't remember much of our conversation because his 5 strands of thin, fly-away blonde hair kept waving around and distracting me.

*Mr. Stud*
This weasly, little, and supremely unattractive mole of an Asian man tells me that he's done this a lot so the staff always ask him for his opinion. I guess that was his intimidation tactic so that I would be my charmingbest. He also mentions that he's single cause he won't sleep with his clients, who all want him. Yeah, right.

*Mr. Resume*
Old as the hills. Certainly, old enough to be my father! This guy didn't even give me a chance to talk. Just sat there and rattled off his resume for 5 minutes. When my eyes started to glaze over, I asked him what he would do if he got to start it all over. As an example, I would be a spy but he apparently is so happy with his life that he wouldn't change a thing. You may wonder what he does...movie theatre janitor. Okay, I am a snob and going to hell but thank God these "dates" were only 7 minutes!

To be fair to the men, the women looked even worse. Though there were no obvious deformities, there was a general sense of dowdiness and awkwardness. I wanted to shout, come on ladies, shoulders back, chest out!!! I talked to a few of the girls during the break and they were giving me all the stats on the men such as what they did, how many kids they had, etc. I didn't have any of that information! It occured to me that perhaps I did this whole thing incorrectly.

Forget cowboys...give me a fireman!

2006-07-24T18:37:00.000-07:00

Here's my favourite Stampede story. Fittingly enough, it all happened at Nashville North, a HUGE, grimy tent with lots of beer and cowboy hats.

Met a boy who was joking about working as a plumber and coffee maker for the city and then suddenly says, you know what I really do, right? Turns out, he has a profession that is irresitable to all of womankind. The un-exact quote was along the lines of "I didn't tell you what I actually do for a living because girls usually just want me for that reason alone". Turns out he's a fireman. Woohoo! I was pretty proud that I didn't fall for him in that second. I'm also proud that I didn't say "jack-fucking-pot". Here's the best part...the twat was wearing a freakin' fire department shirt for all the world to see! Dumb-ass. Okay, that's one.

Then he goes on to say, "You know that firemen don't make all that much money, right? I do what I do because I love it so much, yada, yada, yada". Getting better and better, huh? I told him that I'm okay with him being poor if he's okay with me being rich. You see, I'm far too shallow to do something I love for no money, I'd rather take over the world and be unhappy along the way. That's two.

Next, he goes on a tangent about how he wants someone who will just get along with his buddies, how they have bbq's together all the time and he doesn't want to have to babysit anyone. They're his family. Awwww. Told him I wasn't going to marry him...or his "family" so he should stop scaring the hell out of me. I know this is Calgary, but shouldn't you dance at least 2 songs before marriage discussions? That's three.

Speaking of dancing, he manages to finally drag me on to the dance floor. I did it mostly because I wanted to shut him up. Anyways, on the way to the dance floor, he asks how tall I was. His response to my answer was "It is so great that you are only 5'3 cause I am 5'6 and I'm usually the shortest guy around and the guys at the station are always giving me a hard time". First of all, shut-up before you say anything stupid and secondly, do you really want to point out that you are the shortest guy around?! That's four but oh, we're not done yet.

Next is "I used to have a problem with Asians but now I am totally over that. I find your culture to be so amazing and the girls are so exotic". Look how much this guy has grown and developed! Wow, not only will he accept Asians in his white, narrow-minded, nazi-raced mind, he is also dancing with one. Does he realize that his children may not have blond hair and blue eyes? I'm positive that he will soon be walking without having to drag his fists along the ground. That's five.

Then the grand finale: "You should come and hang out at the station with me. I want to introduce you to all my firemen friends, they are totally going to think I won a trophy". Fan-fucking-tastic. That's six.

So, you may be wondering why I stuck around for all that. Actually, the really sad thing is that it really didn't last that long. He managed all that in about 20 minutes, pretty impressive huh? There's also the fact that I was actually highly amused by the whole thing.

Stay tuned for the sequel that will never, ever happen.

Dog and pony show

2006-07-18T18:39:00.000-07:00

Well, I've just survived my first Stampede in my new home town. It's amazing, the capacity for adults to play at Halloween for 10 straight days. I have a hard enough time with the dress up game once a year. The rule of thumb appeared to come down to two things...small and tight. I lived in constant fear all week lest I get a peak at body parts I really didn't want to see.

Not only are the cowboy costumes bizarre, the party pace in the city boggles the mind. It simply does not stop...where do these people get their energy? It's funny though, most locals (or at least, born and bred Calgarians) do tend to avoid the whole thing.